Post Rally feels...

... and when the emotional mind (aka Heart) ignores rationality. 

So basically, I started off quite okay, well, I didn't give as much awkward pauses and sounded, like I knew what I was talking. But after the first few questions, I started going downhill.
My flaw I learnt from this is that, I only think till I have all my points and am sure of my points, BUT - I do not pause to add on the extra step of HOW I will phrase those points into sentences - into sentences I can easily say out.

Yep. From that you can guess - I crapped up and could not answer smoothly. Not just with awkward gaps or pauses where I repeat words while trying to fill a sentence. I literally lost my point because my sentence escaped me.
Another point was how I mixed up a specific point with another - a miscomm and a mistake on my part. A big fat mistake.



I am deeply sorry to the super-senior who directed the question to me, as he even went through the effort to try and make sense of my words - even when I knew I was digging a hole. He did not get pissed off. Thank you, BL. Thanks to you, it helped expose my glaring weakness - and no, there is no sarcasm, no matter how depressed I feel. Thanks to it, I can remedy my flaws early. Earlier the better.

I am already at this stage - I have passed it, but not very well I would say. The only thing I can say, is that, let all the crap come at the start, so I can quickly learn, find all my flaws in new ways, and brush things up so that when it counts, I do hella well. The earlier the better. Again.


The only thing I am frustrated with now, is that I know I will take this harshly, I am taking it really hard. I can rationale out all the things to do now, but somehow... my heart still keeps bouncing out the logic my brain sends to itself. It's funny how it all originates from my brain, but it can accept two views at the same time.

GAH

But I've already gone through so many stages of such disappointments in myself - more than normal people too, as I think my self-awareness and self-guilting is slightly more than normal, and empathy makes it harder - but I know, logically, that I will get through and grow.

Funny how logic doesn't pierce through. The heart doesn't let go easily.

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P.S. Posts on school academic stuffs will take longer as they take consolidations